Mother’s Day is coming up this weekend, and for many people across the country, that means brunch, phone calls, flowers, or at least a cheap card hastily purchased at CVS and mailed at the last minute. For those who love drag more than their own mothers, this weekend has very different kinds of celebration and adoration in store, as DragCon is slated to return to the Los Angeles Convention Center once again for three days of glitz, glitter, and hopefully, far too much glamour.
DaftBoy will be at DragCon (anybody who is anybody will be at DragCon, don’t you know) at Booth #1042 with the perfect gift for your mutha this Mother’s Day (sorry...Mutha’s Day). A fan is exactly what your drag mutha needs and wants. Why, you ask? That’s a stupid question...but I’ll explain it to you anyway.
It’s Mutha’s Day...DUH
Do you really need any other reason? Flowers die and brunch isn’t any good unless its bottomless, so unless you’re going to bring a pitcher of mimosas to DragCon, a fan is your next best bet. You don’t want to be the one who doesn’t get her anything, do you? Whether she has told you or not, your drag mutha has been coveting a Daft Boy fan like it’s your new boyfriend, and you need to give her one before she steals the other.
Forget spring—it’s hot! Summer has arrived, and soon it will be sweltering, and your beloved mutha will need something to keep her cool. A pool boy with a palm leaf is preferred, but with the minimum wage rising, a fan is the better option for a queen on a budget.
What a shame it would be if you forced your beautiful drag mutha to spend the entire season dripping with sweat! Forget comfort—all that dripping could ruin her face, and she did not spend all that time plastering on makeup and smoothing out her hairline to have it be ruined by the heat. Once your drag mutha gets ready, you want her to stay ready, right? Get her a fan so she can maintain that body temperature, cuz she’s already hot enough (and global warming is a real bitch).
Keep Her In Fashion
Can you believe some queens are still wearing last year’s wigs and hosting shows in the same dresses they’ve worn before? How shameful! The best muthas in drag aren’t just on top of trends, they’re ahead of them. Fans are so in right now, but you want your mutha to have one that’s special, custom, and unlike anything anyone else has. Don’t buy her the same hand fan certain Drag Race winners have been shilling for years now—help her stand out and stay en vogue at the same time with a brand new Daft Boy offering.
You Owe Her
Your mother may have given you life, but your mutha gives you life. You owe her for teaching you how to bring out your inner fabolous queen, for showing you the ropes of the seedy, sexy drag world, and for getting you home all those times you were too drunk and needed some help. She has taken care of you and shown you the way, and you owe her something nice. Hopefully you take care of her and worship her all throughout the year, but when Mutha’s Day rolls around, you better step your pussy up and try a little harder! Get her that fan she can add to her ever-expanding collection she’s been coveting and she’ll make sure you’re taken care of.